Anchorman vs Dodgeball: The Definitive Argument

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. After having to read Mark and Brian go on and on about the wonders of Anchorman and how it is the greatest thing since Jesus, and having to defend my belief that Dodgeball is better, I've decided to just put it all out there. Let's see how they fair in good ol' list fashion!

1. Watchability
I have seen Anchorman once, while visiting family in Baltimore. I had to watch it there because Jaimie wouldn't let us put it on the cue because she said it made her want to die. She saw it in theatres.

I watched Dodgeball 3 times in a 48 hour period, and each time was funnier than the last. I would have watched it again, but Lenka sent it back.

Advantage: Dodgeball

2. Sexy Stars
While Will Ferrell is hilarious, there is no way I'd get near his penis, not even with a ten foot pole. Christina Applegate, while steamily hot, does not even make up for Will Ferrell's lack of sexiness.

Vince Vaughn is hotter than hot in Dodgeball. It makes me wish I was toast and he was jelly. And who can argue the hotness of Christine Taylor? Not I, my friend, not I.

Advantage: Dodgeball

3. DVD Extras
I didn't get to see the entire extra movie that I've heard so much about, but I'm sure that it's hilarious. My hat's off to you Anchorman.

While Anchorman clearly wins in this segment, I do have to say that I rather enjoyed the segment about that kid getting hit all the time. And, if you just left it on the extras menu, you could watch him get hit with balls and wrenches over and over.

Advantage: Anchorman

4. Hilarity
Anchorman had about 2 downright hilarious parts. That's it. I laughed out loud maybe twice. I think I laughed more during Elf...

Don't even get me started on the hilarity of Dodgeball. I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more.

Advantage: Dodgeball

5. Cameos
Damn you, Anchorman, with your hilarious cameos.

Advantage: Anchorman

Conclusion: Dodgeball wins! It is a far superior movie and should be cherished for all time! Hooray for Dodgeball!!

And now I'll use the Jack factor to show you how Harold and Kumar is far superior to both movies!

How much I would have to be paid to never see these movies again:

Anchorman: $4.50
Cost of a Subway lunch whose yumminess would make me forget the movie ever exsisted.

Dodgeball: $2 Million
Cost of an entire DVD collection to help fill the void that would be missing, plus consolation money for never being able to say, "Joanie love Chachi!"

Harold and Kumar: $500 Billion
Millions of dollars for hypnotherapy to try and make me forget the movie ever exsisted, a few million to convince Neil Patrick Harris to drive by in a car while snorting coke off a stripper's ass, tasty sandwiches from White Castle so I could live the dream one last time, a few hundred million to find a tame cheetah to rent and subsquently ride, a billion dollars to bribe the person who says I can never see the movie again, fucker.