Bah to money.

I say this only because I have none. Tonight was supposed to be a date night with Lenka. We were going to go get Thai food and watch Hitch, but my lack of funding has postponed the outing. Thankfully, tomorrow is tip day, so assuming nobody stole a bag (again), I should be rolling in the money tomorrow. On to more pleasant things!
Celebrities I helped today included Ryan Stiles (my lord and master), Alec Baldwin, and Ashton Kutcher. Ashton looked hottt today! I don't find him attractive on tv, but, damn... break me off a piece of that, and give me a side of fries with it! I need to get laid. A boyfriend would be ideal, but I'll take what I can get. Unfortunatly, my soul mate lives far far away and already has a girlfriend. Don't you hate it when that happens? And then you're elaborate plan to convince his girlfriend that she has SARS so she will have to be quarantined for a few months so he can move out here and fall in love with you falls through when a) you realize that you have no idea how to convince someone that they have SARS, and b) even if you did have a plan for said SARSing, you would have no way to implement it since said soul mate's girlfriend is thousands of miles away. Oh, it's all very frusterating. I think that might have been the longest sentence that I've ever written in the history of my life.
9 days to Jeopardy! auditions. I included the exclamation point because they have included it in every email they've sent me. I think it's a very important factor to the success of the show. It makes it more exciting, I suppose. Like, did you ever hear about the time that South Dakota wanted to change their name to Dakota! because they felt that South had negative connatations, and the exclamation point would bring in more tourists? Oh, those crazy Dakotans!. Is that what a person from Dakota! would be called? A Dakotan!? Or would it be a Dakotian!? Dakotaer!? Any way you say, I like it. I think that all of the states should adopt the same attitude. From now on, I live in California!. I think some states would have to have different punctuation marks, like Alabama?, New York., and Iowa$. I realize that the dollar sign isn't a punctuation mark, but I think it's funny with Iowa. These are the things I think about. No wonder my soul mate lives far far away and has another girlfriend.