I am a creature unlike any other... or how I became a ridiculous woman.

I am experiencing so many conflicting emotions right now. I just finished reading The Rules: Time-tested secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right and I don't even know what to do with myself. I am angry, very angry about this book, but also intrigued, saddened, and a little confused. I guess I'll start with anger. There are so many, so very many, angering statements in this book. Let me list a few:
"Do everything you possibly can to put your best face forward. If you have a bad nose, get a nose job."
"If and when things get serious, you can casually tell him about some of your fears. Even then, tell him in an easy, short, simple way. Don't be dramatic about your past. Don't go into long details. Don't be burdensome."
"He declares love first, just as he picks most of the movies, the restaurants and the concerts the two of you go to. He might sometimes ask you for your preference, in which case you can tell him."
"The fact is that your friends and others might not have that burning desire to get married and have babies. You, on the other hand, can't imagine life without a husband."
I feel like just by reading this I am suddenly a husband-hungry-baby-making-machine. I'm not necessarily looking for a husband right this minute, and don't even talk to me about babies. There are just so many things in this book that I am violantly angry about. And there are so many rules, so many things that are just not me at all. For instance, don't ever call him. Ever. And if you do, it can only be to call him back, and only do that on rare occasions. Keep in mind this is a rule until you get that engagement ring. Also, only see him once a week for the first month, twice a week for the second month, and 3-5 times the months after that. Always be light and mysterious. Only start opening up after he says he loves you. If I don't start opening up until after he loves me, then who does he love? He doesn't really know me, right? He just knows some mysterious girl who never calls, You're also not supposed to be funny. I'm sorry, it's impossible for me to not be funny... it's a natural gift! Another thing that bothers me is that one rule is to never live with a man before marriage. I am absolutly living with someone before I marry them, no doubt about it. I need to know if I can live with somebody before I make that kind of commitment, you know? We need to see if our bad habits are compatible with each other.
I guess I am a little intrigued by some thoughts in this book. For instance, it's very true that you will definetly know that a guy is interested in you if he's doing all the pursuing. And, I really do need to stop sleeping with guys on the first or second date. I just don't know if I can follow this book and stay true to myself. I think it's the feminist in me, but I feel downright offended by many of these suggestions. There are valid points, such as not making any man the most important part of your life and having a social life outside of the relationship, and the main objective through all of this is to avoid getting hurt unneccesarily, but I'm still so conflicted. Thank god it only cost 78 cents.