truth paradox

I've never been closer or farther away from who I want to be. I speak of course in terms of life/employment/weight/hope/dreams/love.... in some I win, in an equal amount I fail.... This perfect balance of succeed and demise is draining my spirit. I don't know if I'm elated or miserable, so I'm constantly at a level of meh... somewhere inbetween and too indifferent to seek out one feeling or the other....
23 days until Hawaii (I was supposed to be -60 by now). 40 days until the move (I was supposed to be +2000 by now). Oh well. Can't stop time, can't worry about what I did or didn't do because it's too late now. Just gotta hope everything works out like it should. Although, I suppose hope is reserved for those who have real feelings.

Matters of the Heart by Tracy Chapman

I lose my head
From time to time
I make a fool of myself
In matters of the heart

We should have been holding each other
Instead we talked
I make a fool of myself
In matters of the heart

But I asked before
Your reply was kind and polite
One wants more
When one's denied
I make a fool of myself
In matters of the heart

I won't call it love
But it feels good to have passion in my life
if there's a battle
I hope my head always defers to my heart
In matters of the heart

I guess I'm crazy to think
I can give you what you don't want
I make a fool of myself
In matters of the heart

I wish that I had the power
To make these feelings stop
I lose all self control
In matters of the heart

I can't believe
It's so hard to find someone
To give affection to
And from whom you can receive
I guess it's just the draw of the cards
In matters of the heart

You caught me off guard
Somehow you reached me
Where I thought I had nothing left inside
I've learned my lesson I've been edified
In matters of the heart

I've spent my nights
Where the sleeping dogs lie
Not by your side
It feels so lonely
Once again I've left to much to chance
In matters of the heart

Here I sit
I'm feeling sorry for myself
It's quite a sight
But I have you to thank
For reminding me
We're all alone in this world
And in matters of the heart

I'm already missing you
Although we won't say good-byes
Until tomorrow afternoon
Maybe when and if I see you again
We'll see eye to eye
In matters of the heart

I have no harsh words for you
I have no tears to cry
If the moon were full
I'd be howling inside
It only hurts
In matters of the heart

If today were my birthday
I'd be reborn
As Bronte's bird a bird that could fly
And all accounts would be settled
In matters of the heart

Matters of the heart

F today!

Would anyone like to join me in a drano cocktail?

My life, rated.... again!

Decided to see how my life is rated after a year..... I have the feeling that Mark still rules at life.

This Is My Life, Rated
Life:	6.3
Mind:	6.3
Body:	5.5
Spirit:	4.6
Friends/Family:	5.6
Love:	4.6
Finance:	6.8
Take the Rate My Life Quiz

It's been a while!

Well, I'm going to try and hop back into this blogging thing... I remember it being pretty fun and occupying my time. This is my life currently: I work for a shipping company as mail and archiving bitch, which is actually more fun than it sounds; I live in a house with 3 other people, 4 cats, and 1 ferret. There is rarely a day when someone in the house is not fighting with a person and/or animal....; I am dating 3 guys, all of which have their moments of douche-ocity. The one I like the most is named Daryl. He's half-mexican which is awesome because I've only ever dated skinny white boys before. He is currently going through a divorce which makes him extremly emotionally unavailable....but I still like him the best. Wish the heart made sense! I have also recently discovered that donkey konga is the greatest game of all time and I am the donkey konga master!!! It's pretty awesome to be the best at something, and I'm glad that my skill is also beneficial to the universe =)
Well, more blogging to come in the future!

*~*Sometimes when I think of your name and it's only a game, and I need you. Listen to the words that you say it's getting harder to stay when I see you*~* Even in Blackouts

I'm back!!!

And I have an office job, so you will probably be hearing a lot more from me! I seem to have a lot of free time on my hands...... OH well, I'm getting paid so I can't complain! Also new, I have a boyfriend named Tim and he is one swell guy! Ummmmm, recently in a car accident, but nothing major... currently sharing an apartment with a friend in good ol' tempe, az..... that's about it. I am sooooo excited about Steph's wedding! Now that I'm making real money I should definetly be able to go!! Hooray!!! Ok, catch you kids later!!

hooray!

i've gotten into 2 shows here! hooray!! i'm going to be in the laramie project in june and the lead in a musical in july!! so, if anyone would like to journey on out to phoenix to see me, i'll be here! performing! hooray!!!

80s prom picks up!

erin butt hump
Originally uploaded by angelapants.

go check em out at my flickr site! thanks again for everyone that came out and made it the best party ever!!! love you guys!