Edge of reason is right!

Last night Lenka and I were depressed, so we went to Vons and bought wine and then rented "Bridget Jones: Edge of Reason". It had it's funny moments, but all in all I was very upset by this movie. I guess it's supposed to be empowering to women, saying that you can find love no matter how much you weigh or how psychotic you are, but mainly it was all about how women can only be happy if they are married or if a man is somehow present in their lives. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I would like to have a boyfriend, and occasionally I bitch and moan about it, but my happiness certainly doesn't depend on it. I'm basically content with life right now, except for my job, my apartment, and my financial situation. But, other than that, everything's great. This movie also pissed me off because Bridget was absolutely insane! It was as though they wrote the character so that it would fit as many stereotypes of how women supposedly act in relationships. For example, she's dating this guy for 6 weeks and she's upset that he doesn't propose to her. What?? If a guy proposed to me after 6 weeks I would kick him in the head. Then I'd say no and kick him again. She's just so clingy and so needy and there is no way that she would ever have a boyfriend for longer than a day in the real world! I certainly wouldn't date her....
Argh. So, that's me ranting about that stupid movie. Now I guess I'll go read "The Rules" again and cry until a man asks me to marry him.

You know what I love?

Posting 3 times in one day. No, but seriously folks, I love being woken up by my shift supervisor at 8 in the morning to come into work. My favorite part was when he asked what I was doing. Well, considering I got home from work at 1:30am and didn't have to be back until 1pm... I was fucking sleeping. What else would I be doing? Writing a novella? No. Learning Porteguese? No. Anything other than sleeping? Big fat no! This was also extremly obvious as I sounded like an 80 year old man when I answered the phone.And then he said, "And don't be cranky when you come in!" Yeah, like that was going to happen.
No, but, I do prefer an earlier shift, I just like to be informed about it ahead of time. My schedule was also changed for tomorrow, which means that for the first time in months I am free on a Friday night! I don't even know what I'm going to do with myself! Perhaps I'll finish writing my novella....
Here are some songs I've written at work. This one is entitled "I fucking love this job" and goes like this:

I fucking love this job, I fucking love it, I wanna work here everyday!

It's a little heavy metalish and ends in high pitched screaming. The first time I sang it I had just helped an incredibly rude customer and I went directly over to Ashley and it just came out of my mouth. She started laughing so hard that she couldn't function for 5 minutes. Now it's our theme song while we're at work.
This next song was inspired by a girl who used to work there named Leekeisha. She was also black, so when a cute guy would come in, she used to ask him if he would like a chocolate muffin. Usually the guy would blush and say no and then we'd just laugh and laugh and laugh. So, this song is about that and it's to the tune of the Three's Company theme song (so you can sing along!):

Chocolate muffin for you
Here, why don't you take two?
If you want I can heat this muffin up
This muffin's for you!

Thank you, thanks. I know, I am a genius, It's what I do.

Blargh!

I just realized right this instant that my previous post means that I probably will not have a place for Erin to move to in the fall and it woke me up from my sleep! I'm soooo sorry Erin! My desire to leave the ghetto pushed all other thoughts out of my head. I do, however, know some cool people who might need roomates... or possibly our devious plan to leave this hellhole might fail and things will still be on for the fall? I don't know. I'm all fuhklempt right now. That was like Yiddish hooked on phonics. I need to sleep.

Moving on up

We've had it with the ghetto. We're so outta here. Today was the final straw. I went to talk to the apartment manager about the fact that they didn't fix anything and the tub could still fall through the floor. She said, "I think the woman below you likes to exaggerate. Just use it for now, and when we get more manpower, we'll see what we can do". Just use it for now? I'm not going to risk that the woman below us is exaggerating about her ceiling falling off! Jaimie and I both agree that not using the shower is probably a good idea, so we're using Lenka's. For now. Until we break our lease next month! (dun dun dun!!) That was supposed to be dramatic music. I realize now that it looks a little weak. I should probably go back and erase it... but I'm lazy. So, yeah, we're breaking the lease, and they're still going to give us our security deposit if they know what's good for them! Honestly, I don't see how they can complain about it. Here is a list of all of the things that have gone wrong since we've lived here:
* The very first day they weren't here to let us in to the apartment and we had to wait for 3 hours to move in
* There was (is) a crack in the tub that they neglected to fix and has led to severe floor damage and unsafe showering conditions
* There is a swarm of bees outside of Lenka's balcony
* There have been 2 shootings inside the apartment complex
* They locked me out of the fucking house for 4 hours (I'm still a little bitter about that one)
* Our ceiling leaks whenever it rains and parts of it are falling down
* Roaches... lots and lots of roaches.
I think that's more than enough to be able to break our lease without any negative consequences. If they argue, I'll threaten them with the People's Court! I'll do it, too. Judge Millian would kick their asses!
My kidneys hurt. I hope I'm not dying. I haven't even been drinking lately. That would suck if I lost a kidney. I need these babies to sell on the black market if my acting career doesn't work out! I guess there's always prostitution...

Quick Story

The maintenance man came to work on our tub this morning, but I didn't feel like getting up when he knocked because I knew he had a key so I just pretended that I wasn't home. I fell back asleep after I heard him come in and go into the bathroom, only to be woken up moments later by him singing an opera song in spanish at the top of his lungs! I almost died laughing. Jaimie agrees that that's going in the movie!

To MySpace, or not to MySpace, that is the question...

So, I've recently reconnected with an old friend from high school and she's really fucking cool. She told me about how a lot of our old friends are on myspace, so I went there to check it out. I found this really cool guy who I lost touch with a few years back and have been trying to find, but I had to join myspace in order to message him. Well... my first thought was, "this sucks. I fucking hate it". and it does. but now i think i'm addicted! I've edited my profile 500,000 times, and I'm madly in lust with Tom, the guy who created it. He's Africa hot! And he's single, and he lives in Santa Monica. What I wouldn't do to tap that ass! But I'm so conflicted because I really really really hate the blogs on myspace. They're ugly and the comments are ridiculously stupid. But I can't stop going there. I want to look up more friends from high school and edit my profile some more. I think I'm sick. I've got a fever and the prescription is more cowbell... I mean myspace.
In other pressing news, what's the verdict on internet dating? Is ridiculously lame and pathetic, or is it hip and cool? Because, I've always thought it had some sort of stigma attached to it, but TV and radio are trying to convince me otherwise. Apparantly, internet dating is the new black. Should I jump on the bandwagon? What if I meet somebody who seems really cool but turns out to be a serial killer, or Michael Bolton? I was originally going to say Corey Feldman there, but, in all seriousness, Corey Feldmen used to be really hot. And so, I felt that Michael Bolton was a much funnier choice.

Soo...

I just wrote an entry explaining what happened with that guy on Friday night, and I read it, and I guess it wasn't really that funny. Not funny enough to post, anyway. It was funny at the time though. But, if you really want to hear about it you can call or email me and I'll tell ya. Plus, I didn't want to embarrass any of the guys.
Just got done hanging out with my old neighbor. What a cool guy. It's weird to me that I slept with him, though. Has that ever happened to you? You have sex with a friend, and then a few months later you're like, "Really? That happened? That's weird". It's cool, though. Just don't sleep with friends, that's what I've learned. Only sleep with people you hate.

Get 'Er Done!

What a weekend! I fucking love Ashley. She's all, "Hey, you want to go to a party with me Friday?" and I say sure because I worked in the morning and I didn't have to work on Saturday until 5. As we're pulling up, she says, "I forgot to mention that it's a theme party. It's a redneck party!" Fantastic! You know what black people love? Rednecks! So, we go inside and the first thing I see is a huge Confederate flag hanging in the living room. At this point, I really didn't know what Ashley was thinking bringing me to this party, but I met her friends and they were all really cool and by the end of the night I was screaming out redneck sayings like, "get 'er done!" and "if you don't like it, you can gooooo". That one is a lot of fun to say in a really thick southern accent and a big huge gesture with your thumb. The funniest part of the whole night was when another black person came into the party. He made a beeline for me, and the first thing out of his mouth was, "What the hell are we doing here? Don't worry, I've got your back. If anything happens, just jump over the wall outside, run to the right and meet me at the 7-11." It was hilarious!
So, I happened to meet a boy at this party. Unfortunatly, I chose the only guy in the whole house who doesn't live in California. Whatever. We made out all Friday night and half of Saturday and he left for Alabama today. It's cool. I don't think I could actually date a Southern guy anyway. I have a very funny, yet risque story about him.... I don't know if I should write it down. Vote in the comments if you want me to write about it. I will tell you that it involves intercourse and perhaps a little t.m.i.... but it is very very funny, to me at least. Anyway, Friday night was crazy and I didn't end up going home until yesterday at 3pm. Sometimes I really love being young and unattached!
Well, I'm off to watch Desperate Housewives! Hooray!

What a day!

The original title for this entry was going to be "Worst day ever!!", but I realized that it really, really could've been worse.
My day started at 9:10 this morning. I was already 10 minutes late leaving the house, and I as I reached the bottom of the steps, my crazy downstairs neighbor comes running up to me. She was screaming about how my shower is leaking into her apartment and a piece of her ceiling fell down on top of her this morning. Wow, I think, that's crazy. Then, she goes on to say that she knows that we've been leaving the shower running for hours at a time.... I assure her that this has never happened. I can assert this because we pay for our own water here, and, as we are the stingiest people in the entire world, there is no way that we would leave water running for hours on end. Then, she goes on to say that we should never use our shower again, and she's contacted management and she's sure there will be a note on our door when we get home saying not to use the shower...ever. Then, she says, "I was banging on the ceiling this morning so you wouldn't use the shower, didn't you hear it?" Well, yes, I did notice an unusual banging sensation as I was brushing my teeth this morning, but it did not occur to me that the ceiling was caving in beneath me and I shouldn't use the shower. That, in fact, had not entered my head. I informed her that a normal person would have climbed the stairs, knocked on the door, and told us that there was a problem. I was already late at this point, so I didn't have time to go to the office. Jaimie was already gone, and Lenka's in Phoenix for the week, but I figured everything could be resolved the next day when I was home. Boy was I wrong!
So, I go to work, where I must immediatly delve into the day. Usually, I give myself about 15 minutes to drink some coffee, eat breakfast, and smoke a little before I must succomb to the insanity. Not so today. I go to work, and have a break about 2 hours later. I checked my phone and found 3 frantic messages waiting for me. The first was Lenka saying, "The management just called me and apparantly there's an emergency. I gave them your phone number." Ok. The second was the new apartment manager saying, "We don't have the current keys to your apartment, so if you could call us back immediately that would be great." The third, and most bizarre, was Jaimie. "They broke into our apartment because they didn't have the keys and our tub was about to fall through the floor and now they've changed our locks so we don't have keys to our apartment, but they're going to leave them in the mailbox for us". Woah. So, what happened was that when we first moved in there was a gigantic crack in the bottom of our tub. We informed the management about this immediatly, but they didn't fix it for about a month. In that month, the structural integrity of the floor was damaged, and I guess it's been building for the last 6 months and now it's finally given in.For some reason, they didn't have our keys, which makes no sense because we have never changed our locks and they have in fact come in here without us being home before. So, in essence, they misplaced or mislabeled our keys somewhere along the way. Fine, whatever, as long as they leave us the keys, right?
So, I get home at 6:30 and check the mail. Lovely. A few bills, 3 offers for new credit cards.... and no keys. None. At this point, the office is already closed. So, I called the emergency after hours number. It's a pager. Great. So, I paged them... and waited. I waited 15 minutes. Then, I paged again. And again. by 7:15 I have to pee soooooooooo bad, and (I'm sorry to all the guys) I'm on my period and I didn't have any extra tampons and it was getting to be an extreme emergency that I change the old one! So, I finally give in and run to Vons down the street. I bought a new box of tampons (which I didn't new because I have a new box in my freaking bathroom!) for five dollars, use their filthy disgusting bathroom, and then go back to my car to decide what to do next. I had called the 2 friends I have in the area at this point and neither of them were home. I was running low on options and it was starting to get cold. I didn't have a sweater with me because it was a warm day today and I figured that it would still be warm at 6:30 when I got home, which it was, but I wasn't planning on being outstide past that point.
Anyway, I get in my car, and there's a new message. In the 5 minutes I had been inside of Vons with no phone service, the apartment manager had called back. After an hour. Her message said that if it was really an emergency I could page her again. No mention of any phone number. Great. So, I paged her again, 3 times in a 2 minute span. Nothing. I decide to go home and wait on my doorstep, because I don't want to live in the Vons parking lot. Sooo.... 15 pages later and 8:30 rolls around. Jaimie isn't off work until 9 and I'm cold, sad, and lonely. I cave in and call a locksmith. I explained the situation to the guy on the phone and he seems understanding. He says someone will be there within 30 minutes. 45 minutes later, I'm sitting on a step by the front gate waiting for the man who is going to save my life and let me into my apartment. Let me just say that I do not live in the nicest neighborhood. There have been 2 shootings inside my apartment complex since I've lived here. So, sitting alone in front of the building was not the most secure I've ever felt. However, the locksmith finally arrived and I wasn't shot or accosted. Fantastic. He gets here, and he's nice, but I was hoping that out of all of this chaos that perhaps a really hot locksmith would arrive and ask me out on a date and we would fall in love and get married and it would be just like a cheesy romantic comedy, but no. He was just a nice, normal ( a little quirky) locksmith. Anyway, he gets here, finds it's more complicated than he'd anticipated, and takes 45 minutes to open my door. So, after all of that, I finally got into my apartement at 10:05pm. Then, he opens the door and is trying to get the knob back on when a gigantic bee flies into my apartment. He admits to me that he is terrified of bees and it takes him 20 minutes longer than it would have normally to get my door knob back on because he is so frightened. It was priceless. Well, no, not really, it was 127 dollars. All of which I am expecting to be reimbursed by the apartment manager, who has, as of 1:24 this morning, still not called me back.
Good did come out of this calamity, however. Jaimie and I watched "Harold and Kumar" and ate a lot of pizza. That was pretty amazing. Now I must go to sleep, because I have to wake up in 6 hours and go to work. I can't shower, of course, but I still have to go to work. Fantastic.

I'm drunk again!

Hooray! I'm not out of control drunk, just a little buzzed. Anyway, I need to go on a date with someone. I am desperatly alone. I had a sex dream about my roomates last night, and I woke up this morning and was like, "woah...what the hell is wrong with me?" Yeah. Anyway, I wish I was drunk with Steph right now. That would be fabulous.Let me tell you about Sunday night.
I went to Jaimie's sketch comedy show with Andy, Tony, and Lenka. It was very funny! Then, after the show, we went downstairs to this bar that had karaoke. It was fabulous. I sang, I danced, the karaoke host tried to have sex with me, it was fantastic. Then, afterwards, Jaimie and her friends needed french fries, so we went across the street to Burger King. They had just closed the lobby, so I suggested we go get the car and go through the drive through, but then these guys were driving through and they beckoned to me. I went over, and this really drunk guy was like, "Hey baby, what are you doing?" I told him we just wanted some french fries, so he ordered us 6 large fries. It was hilarious. Then he invited me to his hotel room, and he said to Jaimie, "I could get you a room next door, if you wanted". It was very funny. So, I got free fries and felt a little sexy. All in all, a great night. However, I really want a boyfriend. I'm ready to be excited about someone again. To be anxious and nervous and secure. That's what I want. Argh.
Ok, that's all. Goodnight to you.

Time for a blog-o-whirl!

I'm a little drunk! I finally bought a bottle of jack and I'm so exicited! I've been talking about it for 3 weeks, and I was going to buy a huge bottle at costco yesterday, but I chickened out, so I bought a little one tonight. It's fabulous! Well, since I'm a little tipsy, I think I'll write about my love life!
So, the other day, I was at work on my break. This cute regular named James came up to me and just started chatting with me. I was feeling a little self-confident, so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He said, "well, no I don't", and stepped noticeably closer to me. I freaked out a little, because I'm a little inept at flirting, and I kind of ran away saying something about having to get back to work. Anyway, I'm exicited at the possibility that he might be interested in me. I get that funny butterfly feeling in my stomach when I think about him, which is nice because I haven't felt that way about anyone for a really long time. I'm hoping he comes in tomorrow while I'm working and asks me out on a date, or something. Mmmm, date. Ok, I'm going to continue to enjoy my jack and coke now. Good day to you!

Nevermind.

They magically reappeared. Forget that minor freakout.
So, just got done watching Spanglish. Great movie, really... I was a little disappointed with the end though. I'm a hopeless romantic though, so I always want the impractical ending. Also, OC, fabulous tonight. Although, if Ryan and Marissa don't kiss soon, I'm going to jump out of a window. They've just been building it for soooooo long now, and it's getting ridiculous.
I've started going to the gym regularly, and I'm pretty certain that I will not be able to walk tomorrow. Pretty certain. So, if I get fired for not being able to do anything, at least I'll look skinny.
Good god, the sandwich in Spanglish looks fucking amazing! And, in the extras, there's a recipe for it!!! I'm going to go buy the ingredients tomorrow and feast like a king! Like a king I tells ya! Ok, that's about it. Oh, and thanks for all of your help selecting a headshot! I ♥ you all!!

Why??

Why, why, why!!! did my comments disappear? why? what have i done to displease the haloscan gods??? i can't think of a worse thing happening. comments are like my lifeline. where did they go? please, help me. obviously, you can't comment on it... but, email me. angeladaniels@gmail.com. i'm freaking out.

Headshot mania!

Ok. I posted my 4 favorite headshots! Please comment on them, tell me which is your favorite, which you hate with the passion of a thousand fiery suns, and so on! Thanks!!

#4

0323-18
Originally uploaded by angelapants.

does my smile look fake?

#3

0323-23
Originally uploaded by angelapants.

I think this one is very sassy. Mabye a little too sassy?

#2

0323-33
Originally uploaded by angelapants.

mmm, maybe...

#1

0323-34
Originally uploaded by angelapants.

I like this one a lot, but I may be a little too profile.

I guess it could be worse...

Well, I got a traffic ticket tonight on my way to the gym. The big problem, however, is that I have not yet gotten ye olde California registration and license. I used the standard "I'm just visiting" and then burst into tears. It was not as effective as I'd hoped. I got a ticket for running a red light (which I didn't!! I swear it was barely yellow! really!!) and a warning for an unsafe u-turn. Bastards. I was freaking out at the gym because I was sure the ticket was going to be for five-hundre-thousand dollars, but it turns out it's only a hundred. So, I pay that and then I can take an online traffic school course for another 80 or so and my insurance won't go up any. Great. Luckily, I don't have to have it done until May 27th. That gives me ample time to get my headshots reproduced, get an agent, and get some money in the biz. Then maybe I can register my car in California and not have to be so freaked out all the time. I was very productive after the gym, however. I finally had my mail forwarded from Derek's house so now I never have to speak to him or hear from him again. Hooray.
Bah. I got my last dose of vaccine today for the study and my arm feels like it's going to fall off. I hope it doesn't, because I kinda need this arm. Kinda.
Ah, well... I'm alive and I'm healthy. I guess it could be a whole lot worse.

bah!

i'm so frusterated! kroq has a new contest that i absolutely must win, but their webpage is broken and i can't get to the offical rules!!!! it's driving me mad! and there's no site map! i'm of the belief that every webpage ought to have a site map. anyway, this contest that i must win is a week long trip to hawaii with 9 of your friends, a private concert from the killers, and a new suv. i don't so much care about the car, but everything else i must have or die. bah to you kroq's webmaster!
in other news, i got my headshots done today. more about that in the future, including my favorites and your opinions! peace out.

A question of karma.

Do you think that I'll get bad karma if I know that someone is planning to do something that is possibly a little mean, like, I don't know, mail a certain someone a box of dog poop, and I do nothing to stop it? It's not like I'm encouraging it.... I'm just not stopping it. Is that wrong?

Today was a very long day.

I decided to do this master cleansing diet today, which is basically like fasting. Man, I am a bitch when I don't eat. Needless to say, my 8 hour shift at work today didn't go so well. Thank god it's over. It's so nice to be home and warm.
Do you know what my horoscope was today? It was:
"Don't fight the masses. You are better looking right now than you like to admit. People will recognize that."
Isn't that hilarious??!? I laughed my ass off. Mostly because I think it's impossible to be better looking than I think I am right now. I was thinking about that today. Joey on friends once said that you can only date within a 2 number range of yourself. For instance, if you're a 5, you can go for a 7, or the more scary 3. I like to think of myself as a solid 7. Therfore, I could date a 9 or a 5. Personally, at this point in my life, I'd rather go up than down. I'm thinking an 8. That way, he's not too good looking to the point where he might think I'm not good looking enough for him. Bastard.
Ok, that's all I have to say right now. Tell your mom I said hello.

Wet Hot American WOW!

So, saw WHAS for the first time yesterday. Wow. Fucking amazing. Really, it's like genius that's reached a whole new level geniusiosity. I laughed, I cried, I threw up a little. And Christopher Meloni, that man is the character actor of the millenium! I'm still getting over his part in Harold and Kumar, and then I see him in this! Incredible! My favorite part was when he started humping the refrigerator, because I do that all the time. In fact, I'm humping a fridge right now. Feels good. I also thoroughly enjoyed seeing Paul Rudd's ass in the deleted scenes. I've always been in love with him, but maybe a little more now. I do, however, wish with all of my heart that they had left in the part where Coop is replaced for one line by another actor. I think that would have been the absolute funniest moment in any movie ever. Alas. I guess I did get to see Jeneane Garafolo and David Hyde Pierce makeout, and that was pretty cool. That's something I wish I could see more of. Ok, fuck my cock. Oh, that means goodbye now...

Last night was glorious!

It was truly fantastic! We went to Taco Taco 4th St, watched a little sex and the city, and drunk dialed around 20 people. The best part was that we asked all of those people that we drunk dialed who sang the dirty hot sex song and steph or I would sing it every time and I'd dance the robot, but nobody knew what we were talking about. Yes, it was a night of firsts, It was the first time I met the great and powerful Steph, and also the first time I talked to a Mr. Mark Lindsay. I have to say that he wasn't too pleased to talk to me. It might have been because it was technically 1 in the morning eastern standard time, or possibly because I was drunk and asking him about the dirty hot sex song, and maybe he just hates me. Either way, a glorious time was had by all, except for the people we drunk dialed.
Gar, why didn't we drunk dial Jenn? I bet she would have known who sang the dirty hot sex song! It's a band called Pepper, by the way, in case you get drunk tonight and need to figure it out.

The Glory Days are Over

Our new neighbors moved in. It's not 4 hot single guys, like I was hoping. It's a family with 3 kids. Bah. I was hoping at the very least that it would be people around our age that would want to hang out, but I guess the days of having friends in the copmlex are over. Alas, the Mike's will live on in my heart.
On the brighter side, my tax refund came in! Hooray! I love seeing money in my bank account. It won't be there for long, mind you, but it's there now. I went shopping this morning for shirts for my upcoming headshot. It was very difficult. So far all of my options are pink. This is a very stressful time for me.
Funny tid bit on the news last night. I guess it shouldn't be funny because the Pope's dead, but I suppose there's humor in everything. A reporter was commenting on the people in the square at the vatican, and he said, "Hundreds of people have gathered here singininining..." and then he paused, corrected himself, and continued straight-faced. It was like he completly lost control of his mouth and he couldn't stop singing the word singing. When he corrected himself, he sounded like he was shocked at what had just come out of his mouth. It was hilarious. We rewound it and rewatched 500 times. Each time it was a little bit funnier. Ah, yes. Well Pope, tonight I'm tipping a little bit of my drink on the sidewalk for you.
Well, I must for prepare for Steph's. I'm ready to eat tacos and watch Sex and the City. Wait, that didn't sound right...

A note to Steph:

I can't comment on your page. The answer you seek is Family Guy! I would like my 50 points in dollars, please.