The magical splendor of Box City.

There is a store on Topanga and Saticoy called Box City, and it is nothing short of spectacular! Jaimie and I first went there a week and a half ago. I meant to write about the experience at the time, but I never got around to it. Let me summarize it by saying 1: Jaimie took me to Box City so she could buy a box to ship some stuff, 2: Jared, the Box City guy, helped us pick out a box, assembled said box, allowed us to pack the box, and then shipped it the cheapest way possible, and 3: We loved Jared and everything he stood for! He was amazing! And, Jaimie and I are pretty crazy when we're together anyway (let alone when we're super excited about a store that sells nothing but boxes!!!), so we say ridiculous things all the time, and he just tolerated all of our madness. Nay, he not only tolerated it, he enjoyed and encouraged it!
So, that was Box City the first time. Truly magnificent experience. We've vowed that from now on, Box City is the place for all of our boxing and shipping needs. So, today, Jaimie and I went back to ship a present to her brother. We pull up into the parking lot, which is one of those back parking lot dealies, and the big rolling door next to the main entrance is open, and Jared is there with some coworkers. He sees us and immediately starts waving with a huge smile on his face! Needless to say, we were ecstatic that he remembered us and was happy to see us! So, we shipped the package, but we're going back on Saturday so I can buy some envelopes. It was hilarious because I knew I needed envelopes, but Jaimie had to get to work so we wouldn't really have had any time to talk with Jared, so we decided to come back another time this week when we'd have more time to devote to him. We asked him what his schedule was for Saturday and then Jaimie penciled it into her planner! Then, as we were leaving, I said to Jaimie, "I think that one of us is going to have to marry him" and she replied, "Yes, I think that's the only logical conclusion". So, since she already has a boyfriend, I guess that means I'm marrying Jared the Box City guy. I'll let you know when after Saturday.

Jaimie and I are sooo normal.

fort fun!
Originally uploaded by angelapants.

So, yesterday, Jaimie comes home and says, "Do you want to come build a fort with me? I'm in a bad mood", and so, I said, "Of course! I can't think of anything more normal than that!". Thus, our fort was made! I wish I had an actual digital camera instead of just my crappy cell phone, but you can sort of get the idea here. Jaimie is peeking out from underneath the fort. We built by pulling the mattress off the daybed and suspending it between the coffee table and my excercise ball. Then, we turned our lawn chair upside down and hung a blanket between that and the arm of the couch. Finally, we hung my yoga mat over the edge to create a magical flap of happiness. Essentially, it is the greatest living room fort that has ever exsisted. Thank you.

Angela (fuck yeah), coming again to write a mutha fuckin blog, yeah!

So, finally saw Team America. Holy shit! This movie blew my pants off and left me lying on the floor, pantsless, like a weeping child. It was so... brilliant. Brilliant is the only word for it. I want to make love to this movie, which sounds gross if you take it literally... but it's not gross! My love for Team America is pure and should not be judged by the likes of you!!!!!! Woah. Sorry, I'm a little nuts right now because I had to be at work at 5:30... am.... yeah, that makes me crazy. Anyway, back to the wonder that is Team America..... I think my favorite part was the spoof on Rent. And the puppet sex. And the America, Fuck Yeah song, especially the part when it starts playing really slow and the singer gets really emotional.... priceless! The only bad thing about the movie is that I won't be able to look at Alec Baldwin the same when he comes into the store! Ok, I've gotta go take a nap or something.... so, lick my butt and suck on my balls, yeah!

this is soooo true!

i took this family guy quiz, and the results describe me to a tee!!


Which Family Guy character are you?


amazing!!! except, where it says, "every now and then" it should say "every night"

poo on driving!

between 9 o'clock last night when i filled up my gas tank and 11:30 this morning, i drove 142 miles!!!!! my tank is already halfway empty! already! i must move out of the valley immediately, or i'm going to have to start whoring myself to pay for gas! anyone interested? i'll give you a good deal!!

Hermit P. Hermity

I've been very hermity today. My sister said, "I didn't know that was an adjective!" and I said, "I've just made it one, bitch!" I don't know why I'm in such a low key mood, but I feel like I never want to leave the house again ever. Of course, I have to leave the house, tomorrow in fact because I have to work. After work I'm going to meet up with an old church camp friend who is moving out here soon and in town looking for an apartment. Hopefully I'll be in a more social mood tomorrow. Hopefully.

Dear Mark,

I left a special reply to your last comment.

he<3rt- *angela*

I'm going to fist fight the world!!

Lately, when someone does or says something that upsets me, I challenge them to a fist fight. And then I hop around and fake punch the air. It's mildly amusing. But, tonight, I really want to challenge the world to a fist fight! I'm very emotional tonight, and crabby, and sad, and violently angry. It's very confusing to be all of these things at once. I think a lot of it has to do with my current job situation, and the rest of it is based on the fact that both Jaimie and Lenka are starting new relationships and they're both in that happy/giddy phase when you're just getting to know someone and everytime you talk to them or touch them or think about them your stomach fills with butterflies and you can't stop smiling. It's kind of difficult to be the only one in the house not experiencing that right now. Bah.
on the bright side, i finally got my headshots done. now i can start submitting them to agencies and for non-union roles and actually start working on my career. hooray! ok, i'm gong to go watch a little harold and kumar to eleviate my bad mood. gangsta.

I figured out how he did it!

I told my pirate joke to a coworker about a month or so ago. One of Seth Green's spies must have been in the store at that exact moment, heard it, and thought, "Yes! That is perfect for Robot Chicken! I must go tell master Seth immediately!!!". And that's how it happened. Of course, Seth Green heard the joke and said, "Brilliant! Here you are, Spy, 5 dollars for your troubles". Damn that stingy Seth Green!
In other news, I saw the most adorable boy at the gym tonight! I've named him nerdy running guy. He was on the elliptical machine in front of me and he was wearing cutoff army shorts, a spiked belt, and rivers cuomo style black-rimmed glasses. oh, the best part... fauxhawk! I'm obsessed with guys with fauxhawks or mohawks. I think they're super sexy! So, here's the fake conversation that I had with nerdy running guy in my head:

NRG: Hi.
Me: Hi. I like your running shorts.
NRG: Thanks! I like your fanny pack. (I keep my cd player in a bright pink fanny pack while I'm running)
Me: Thanks!
NRG: You wanna go makeout?
Me: I would like nothing more.

And then we go makeout. That would've been awesome. Maybe it will happen tomorrow!

Seth Green and I are in a fight!

For years I have had my trademark joke. It goes like this:

A pirate walks into a bar and he has a steering wheel coming out of his pants. The bartender says, "Excuse me sir, is that a steering wheel coming out of your pants?" and the pirate says, "Arrrr, yes it is, and it's driving me nuts!"

I don't know where I first heard or read this joke, but over the years I've made it my own. Everytime I tell it, I do a flawless pirate accent and the people go wild! Well, this morning, while I was watching the latest "Robot Chicken" on dvr, I saw a skit with a pirate standing on a dock with a steering wheel coming out of his pants! And then he said, "It's driving me nuts!". Wha?? Seth Green stole my pirate joke!! He stole it and he put it in his show and now I can never tell it again! It was my joke, my favorite joke, the joke I told when asked to tell a joke. Now I have no joke. Damn you Seth Green!! Damn you to hell!!!!!

Nascar is the devil and I'm the soup god!

I hate nascar! i hate that it's on all the freaking time in our household. i went to the gym tonight to get away from it, which was good, but it's still on! the race is over, but lenka has to watch everything, and there's a show about nascar on after nascar. hooray! i also hate when friends stand you up to hang out with their boyfriends, thus leaving you home to suffer through nascar. but, you know what i love? making soup!! i made a gigantic batch of veggie soup yesterday from scratch and it's fantastic! and it's so much cheaper than buying cans of soup! i'm brilliant AND economical! hooray for me!!!

Life has a way of unfolding as it should.

That is my motto today. So, I turned down that job. I could've very easily made a lot of money, but I would've had to compromise my values and start being one of those sleazy salespeople that I hate. So, I decided to turn down the offer and accepted the position of shift-supervisor at the bean instead. Hooray. So, I'm still poor, but I have my morals. That's something, right? Who knew I wasn't a sellout.....

I shouldn't be doing this...

I am a *little* buzzed on wine right now.... and now it's time for a confession! I have a super big crush on a guy I met on myspace. He is sooooo cute, and so funny, and so.....I really want to hang out with him in actual reality and see if I still feel the same way...... but I'm nervous about asking him to go out at a specific time to a specific place. I've asked him to hypothetically hang out sometime, but I've never gotten specific. The worst part about it is that the rules are lingering in the back of mind saying, "don't ask him out, wait til he asks you" or, "he's obviously not that into you, give up". I hate the rules. I also hate that motley crue are playing at the weenie roast. i was undecided about it at first, like i couldn't decide if them playing there made me less or more excited, but now, i've realized that i hate motley crue and their being at the weenie roast can only bring it down. although, if i do win tickets, it would be very comical to be able to say that i've seen them live. yes, that's something to consider.

I definetely should not post this!!! i'm going to anyway, though. muh ha ha ha!

I need to sleep.

i am writing a very bried description of what happend in my life today because i just got home after being out of the house since 8 this morning and i have to leave again in 6.5 hours, so, here goes:

1. Job interview this morning with marketing firm. Went very well, have second interview on Friday (which is actually shadowing someone who has the job for 9 hours), I think I probably have the job, if I want it. I don't know if I want it. I do, because the money would be awesome, but I don't because I fear change, I need a flexible schedule, and I don't know if I'd be good at sales. I guess I'll see exactly what the job entails on Friday and then decide if it is right for me. If not, it's back to the drawing board!

2. Went from the interview to a coffee bean in sherman oaks. then, me and 3 other employees went to nbc studios and made ice blendeds for the people who didn't get into ellen's show. i think i was actually on camera a few times, but i don't know because i was so freakishly busy the whole time. i didn't get to meet ellen, but she did wave to me during rehearsal. that was hot. it airs tomorrow (i guess, technically, today), Thursday, May 12th.... but, i probably won't be on it enough to make it worthwhile to actually view it. plus, i have 2 new pimple friends (agatha and bernice) that i would rather you not meet.

3. went from ellen to work where i have been until now and i am so exhausted that i must go to sleep immediately!!! peace out!

ps- william h. macy, brian! i'm a busy person! i updates when i can!!!!!!! actually, i didn't update for awhile because i've been kinda melancholy and i didn't want to depress/bore/annoy anyone with my self-imposed angst. but, don't worry, i'm less angsty now!

What an unusual day.

All I'm going to say right now is that I have a job interview tomorrow morning, and tomorrow afternoon I'm going to be on the Ellen Degeneres Show (it's just taping tomorrow, I don't know when it will air).
More details tomorrow night.

For the love of...

Hey. So this entry was going to be about how I almost beat this guy to death with my bare fists this morning, which I almost did (it took all of the strength in my body not to physically attack him), but then an amazing thing happened and it made all of the other shit at work seem meaningless! Sarah Michelle Gellar came in and I rang her up AND made her drink and it was amazing and I loved every second of it and I think that I'm actually taller than her! Isn't that incredible? Suprisingly, I didn't freak out or tell her I loved her or anything, I just treated her like a normal customer (even though I wanted to ask her if working with Joss Whedon is amazing, which I'm pretty sure it is). Hooray! So, that made this morning bearable! What also made it bearable was when I got soooooo fed up with something and I really wanted to shout out "Jesus Fucking Christ", but I really can't do that in public, let alone while I'm working, so instead I shouted, "William H. Macy!!!" and then Ashley and I started cracking up because it was so ridiculous! And now we're using it regularly, and we've started to adapt it, like, "For the love of William H.!" It's spectacular. One last funny work story. I was getting some coffee for a customer, and I was talking to my coworker and he had switched the dark and flavored pots somehow, so I said, "Uhhhhhh, you're killing me. I'm literally dying. First of all, you switch the dark and the flavored and I hate that. Second of all, I'm trying to help some customers and everything's in disarray, and I'm telling you, I'm just going to go walk into traffic in the middle of Ventura. Don't test me, I'll do it" and then I turn around, and Annette Benning is standing there laughing at me. It was fantastic! That's really the only perk of my job, that it's in Studio City and I get to see some of my favorite stars from time to time.

I really really really really REALLY want to go to KROQ's Weenie Roast!!!!! I've been trying to win tickets all weekend, but no luck so far. I have to win tickets, because I can't afford to buy them, but I really need to go to this show, it's necessary. I might fall over and die if I don't go. It's entirely possible. Ok, I'm going to go surf the internet for however long nascar is on. why must there be a saturday night race? why? oh william h, what did I ever do to deserve this???

I finally did it.

i quit smoking, which is something i've been saying i was going to do since i officially started smoking in october. it's such a disgusting habit, and i've always hated it, but it's got that whole addiction thing going for it. no more, i say! i'm through with it! it hasn't been too easy, so far, though. i kinda snapped after dinner when lenka said, "i feel completely satisfied" and i replied, "I want a fucking goddamned cigerratte, fucking balls shit fuck cunt motherfucking shit balls fuck shit". perhaps not smoking has given me tourette's syndrome. that's cool.
so, i have this gigantic pimple right inbetween my eyebrows. i've named it reynoldo, and i like to tell jaimie things like, "reynoldo is my soulmate, he came at exactly the right time" and "i wonder why that hot guy didn't come talk to us. maybe my new friend reynoldo scared him away". i'm actually really enjoying it. not the pimple itself, but the treatment of said pimple.
ugh. we saw "kingdom of heaven" tonight. worst movie ever. it was sooooo bad. the acting was horrible, the writing was atrocious, and the basic editing of the film was very confusing. i think i was most upset by the writing, though. it was sooooo effing bad. it made me want to find the writer and punch him in the face. he had obviously never heard of exposistion, or else had absolutely no idea how to incorporate it into the dialogue. there were so many times that titles were used when it would have been just as easy to have someone say, "hey, we're in jerusalem now", or "i'm off to find my son". it was ridiculous! and the character development is awful. the bad guy is just bad for no reason, and suddenly this woman starts going crazy. but in a really weird and pointless way. and the whole battle between christianity and islam, i wasn't rooting for either side. i was completely indifferent to who won or how they did it. i really just wanted everyone to stop fighting and live together in peace and harmony, but i was pretty sure that wasn't going to happen. history is perhaps not my strongest subject, but i was pretty sure the christians and the muslims didn't just hug and start drinking beers together. that would have been cool though. anyway, don't see this movie, even if it's free. god, if i'd paid money for this, heads would have rolled.
bah. i need to sleep. goodnight!

So maybe I'm not dying.

My chest still hurts, but now my shoulder hurts, leading me to believe that perhaps I just slept weird or was doing too many strenuous activites (tee hee)... not really. I probably just slept weird and now my shoulder's all cranky and taking it out on my chest. But, in case I do die, I want the copy of Zoolander that I stole from that guy to go to Mark. The rest can be fought over once I'm in the grave, just make sure Mark gets Zoolander. Oh, and Brian, I want you to have my autographed picture of Jonathan Brandis. I would've given that to Davi, but I know she already has one.
Last night, my new myspace friend Jason insinuated that I had not seen Harold and Kumar and I got really offended. I don't know why, but I take that as a personal insult. Ps, how lame does it sound to say "my new myspace friend"? I should just go stand in line for Star Wars with all of the other nerds like me.

I think I might be dying.

I have really sharp pains in my chest whenever I laugh or breathe deeply. I told my coworkers tonight not to call an ambulance if I had a heart attack because I couldn't afford the medical bills. It's probably nothing serious.... nothing a little ignoring can't fix! Bah, being poor is lame.
On a brighter note, really hot tattoed guy came in again today. He made a special effort to get my attention to say goodbye before he left. He wants me soooo bad that he doesn't even know it! That's hot.
I had a crazy dream last night that I was pregnant, but it was a really rapid pregnancy, like I found out about it and was due the next day. I remember that I wasn't concerned about the fact that I didn't know who the father was, and I wasn't worried about taking care of it, I was just terrified of naming it. I don't know what that means, but I'm really glad it was just a dream and not actual reality. Thank you.

We're not lesbians, but...

My roomates and I are fucking crazy! I had to post this story to see if we are geniunely nuts, or if other people are like this too. Let me just start this by explaining that we are frequently topless in the house and grab each others boobs for no reason, if only just to say, "honk". We also slap each other in the butt constantly, or grab it, whatever. So, tonight, we were all laying on my bed and talking, when suddenly, I sat up, thought for a moment, and then said, "No, no I shouldn't". Jaimie said, "What?" and I articulated that I had a sudden urge to poke her in the vag because it seemed appropriate at the time. She said, "You can poke it, it's fine", so I did. Then I poked Lenka's, just to make it even. Then I was in the living room later, and Lenka was about to go to bed, when I heard giggling in the hallway and, "You have to poke Angela's, or else it just won't be right". So, I prepared by pulling my shirt up and thrusting my pelvis out. Lenka poked it, while Jaimie laughed hysterically, and as Lenka was walking to the open window to shut the blinds, she yelled out, "At least you didn't make a camel toe. I don't think I could've poked your vag if you'd had a camel toe!" and then we all laughed and laughed because the window was open and our neighbors already think we're insane.

So, what do you think? Are we normal, or absolutely out of our minds? Either way, I fucking love this house.

I'm delirious!

I've worked 47 hours this week and I'm so exhausted and I've been up since 7 this morning but I can't go to sleep because Jaimie and I are just sitting here talking and having the most ridiculous conversations ever. Here's what we were just talking about:

I was mentioning how I kept hitting my elbow on things today at work and how I was saying that they were just going to fall off and I was pondering how difficult life would be without elbows. Then I started walking around pretending that I didn't have elbows and seeing what I could and couldn't do. Then Jaimie, while laughing, stood up suddenly and I just saw her look determined while pretending to pull up pants without bending her elbows. Then she said, very satisfied, "Nope, you couldn't put your pants on. Well, not all the way, your ass would always be exposed." Then I suggested that we could invent a device to pull your pants up the rest of the way. She suggested pulling them up with your teeth, and started demonstrating it. And then we laughed uncontrollably until we were crying and Jaimie said, "Write this down immediately!" and so I did.

I swear, we haven't had anything to drink tonight. This is us sober, imagine us drunk!