It's fucking great to be 22.

I've decided I like saying fucking in the titles. I mean, originally it was just lines from "Old School", but now I think I'm going to run with it. Anyway, I got home at 6:30 this morning because being 22 is fucking awesome. i went to karaoke last night with Ashley and we ended up talking to this guy I know, Jesse which was unusually because we haven't really talked much since the whole Josh thing. Well, we were talking and his hot hot friend Marshall was talking to us too and they invited us over to Marshall's after the bar closed, so we went. We had a really great time just talking and watching 2 really horrible movies. I can't even mention what they are because I'm so embarrassed. Jesse was so drunk and high and he was being so funny. He kept saying things like, "So, seriously, when are we going to make out? I've got lots of money". It was great.
The only problem about last night was that I was definetly into Marshall, but he was very very interested in Ashley. She's got a boyfriend, so nothing happened, but all of a sudden I was 16 again. I was back to being the fat girl that hung out with the pretty girls and that all the guys wanted to be friends with, but didn't want to date. I'm not saying that I'm fat, because I don't think that I am, I'm just saying that's a comparable emotion to how I was feeling last night, and early this morning. I haven't felt that way in a long long time.
In other news, I was woken up yesterday by my manager calling me to tell me that the guy who had called yesterday was indeed the guy who Ashley humilated me with and he was there now and had given her his cell phone number to give to me. hooray. Well, I didn't call him because I'd just been woken up, and what would I have said anyway? So, I go into work and my manager tells me that he was just sitting around waiting for me to call. Then Ashley tells me she invited him to karaoke. So, I call him, just to say hey and see if he's going to koji's, and he is so inept at talking to women on the phone. Then I hang up and go to work, check my phone later, and he'd called me exactly 5 minutes after getting my phone number. The message said that he wasn't big on karaoke but maybe we could do something else, like get coffee or go out for soup. Soup. I don't really know why soup was the first thing he thought of. I don't know how I feel about a soup date. Anyway, I called him back and told him I was meeting friends so I couldn't change my plans, and he said we could hook up later. I'm glad, I guess. I want to give this guy a chance, but I just feel so eh about him. I guess we'll see what happens.
Argh! I was going to do "Total Eclipse of the Heart" Old School style last night, but right before I went up, some other guy did it. It was a monstrosity.I was very upset. I had to search frantically for a different song. Jessica and I ended up doing "Baby Got Back". It was pretty brilliant, but damn I wanted to sing "I fucking need you more than ever". Life is unfair sometimes.

I fucking need you now tonight.

Don't you hate it when someone's not who you expect them to be? There's this guy who comes in every once in a while and I've developed sort of a crush from afar kind of thing. Well, I finally talked to him today, like actually had a conversation, and he is nothing like what I imagined. It would be a miracle if we could even be friends, let alone red hot lovers. How disappointing! The problem is that I have such a vivid imagination. Once I have a crush on somebody I can fantasize about everything from first dates to imaginary conversations. Then, I create this perfect match for me without really basing it on who the person actually is and I get so worked up about this person... and then I actually get to know them and it's nothing but a let down. Bah. I guess I'll have to find someone else to fantasize about. Back to Adam Brody I suppose.
A ridiculous thing happened at work today. There's this relatively new girl, Ashley, and I absolutly love her. We instantly clicked and now every shift we have together is insanity! We call each other bff, and this morning I told her she was no longer my bff because she was being a bitch, and so she took a sharpie and wrote "fuck you" on my arm. Then, she goes over to this random guy sitting in the corner and tells him I'm interested in him! I was soooo embarrassed! He said he didn't really know what I looked like, so he pretended to get water so he could come over and check me out. It was so humiliating. Then he left, without saying anything to me, which I was kind of glad for, but I also felt insulted. I was definetly cute enough to date him. He should be so lucky. So, an hour later, the phone rings and my manager gets it. It was some guy asking for me, but she told him I was busy and to call back later. He didn't, but I can only assume it was that guy because no one else calls me at work. Great. Now I've got a stalker. Thanks Ashley! She's still my bff though. She's trying to hook me up with a 35 year old artist named Darren. I like the artist part, and I can live with the old man thing, but I don't think I could date a guy named Darren. I have standards, you see.

Angela Daniels, CPA at large!

Sometimes I really wish that I'd had a passion for accounting or engineering so I might have a degree that I could possibly use someday. As it is, I graduated magna cum laude with a degree in Theatre Arts, and I work at a coffee shop. I borrow money from my parents every month and my sister had to pay for me to go home for Christmas. Oh, and don't forget about my other sister buying me the plane ticket to her wedding. I feel as though I've paid my dues a thousand times over and I should actually be getting somewhere by now... but not yet. Hopefully someday, or I might just be a CB&TLer for life.
The only really good thing about my work is that my manager loves Nap D, and everyday she'll say, "What are you going to do today Angela?" And I'll say, "Whatever I feel like doing, gosh!" or "Make some lattes, uhhh!" and then turn and runaway. It really does make life worth living.
Ugh. I'm bored, and alone. Jaimie and Joe left for Tucson this morning and Lenka's in northern california. I have nothing to do. Maybe I can start writing my top secret Broadway musical. Maybe I can start looking at grad schools for an alternative career. Nah, maybe I'll just read "the rules" again and be on my way to finding a husband. why, if I could just trick a boy into marrying me, all of my problems would be solved! genius!

I fucking need you more than ever.

Today was very productive. I bought a new wallet, a lottery ticket, and I watched 3 movies: The Incredibles, Down Mexico Way (a very cheesy feature my ex-boyf did last year), and Old School. I only watched Down Mexico Way because Jaimie's in it and Joe really wanted to see it. It was actually a lot of fun to watch with Joe. We watched it Mystery Science Theatre 3000 style. There's this one scene where Jaimie's partner has just been shot and killed and she's calling her boss, incredibly emotional, and she takes out her cell phone... then just puts it to her ear! She doesn't dial, she doesn't flip it up, just puts it to her ear and starts talking! It was hilarious because it was very obviously a flip phone...ahhhh, cheesy b movies. Fantastic!
Onto the Incredibles. It was a good movie. I enjoyed it. I think the problem, however, is that it's one of those things that's been hyped up so much and I've waited sooo long to see it that I've been drenched in hype, so I didn't really find it incredible. It was good, I laughed, and that's about it. Please Brian, forgive me. I know that this movie is the reason you live... Let's just say that you have the Incredibles, and I have Harold and Kumar...
Old School. Fucking Old School. Hilarity on a cracker. That's about all I have to say. Oh, and I want to fuck the life out of Vince Vaughn. Dear lord, how can one man be so desireable? I swear if he ever comes into the coffee bean, I'm going to jump over the counter and rip all of his clothes off. i was going to go into more graphic detail here, but since people are actually reading this now, I figured I'd save you all the mental image... You can thank me later.

The Mark ban is off!

After careful consideration, I've decided to cancel the anti-mark movement. This is because a) I really do want to meet Mark someday and I don't want him to hate me, and b) I've decided that I want to marry someone named Mark. I don't actually know this Mark yet, but ideally he'll be a writer and possibly Jewish. I was telling my friend at work this and she said that perhaps I was being a little too specific. I don't think so though, I think it's good to know what I'm looking for. Also, I hope he has a good last name, like Elliot or Voss. I could definetly be Angela Elliot. So long as it's not Vonveindershnieder, or something like that.
I'm so excited! Dodgeball and Old School arrived today! I have a feeling that it's going to be a perfect day off tomorrow!! And, one week from tomorow I meet the fabulous Steph! I anticipate a great wave of peace throughout the world at the exact moment that we meet. That, or apocalypse. Either way, it's going to kick ass. Ok, I'm gonna go watch some Robot Chicken. Man, did you see the one with the tooth fairy? That was pure genius!
Vonveindershneider Out!

Down with Marks!

I am anti-Marks this week. Yes, all Marks. Here is a list of some Marks, and why they should be boycotted:

Mark the DDR master- Mark should be deemed ridiculous until he sees "Zoolander". Also, he is unbloggular with me at the moment because I consider us to be blog buddies, or bloggies, if you will, and yet still no link for the Angela. Lame!

Mark the hot guy who gets coffee everyday- He doesn't want to date me, and to that I say, "Boycott, boyee!" No more discounts for him!

Mark Wahlberg- Sure, he's really hot and he's a damn fine actor, but we cannot forget about Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.

Mark the other guy who comes in to my work everyday- This guy sucks raw eggs. He demands an extra shot for free everyday and then sits around the store for hours at a time making ridiculous small talk. He does have a kickass computer though, a G4, so I give him 1 bonus point. However, he doesn't use it for anything cool like video editing, so I give him -2 points.

Here are some more Marks: Mark Goodson, Marc Anthony, Markie Post, markers, Marxists, postmarks, trademarks, and watermarks. Add your own Marks as they come to you!

notebook dynamite

notebook dynamite
Originally uploaded by angelapants.

I saw this aisle in Blockbuster and thought it was the greatest thing ever. an entire shelf of "notebook" and "napoleon and dynamite"! yes, i loved both of these movies, but having these be the only 2 things on a shelf together is very unusual, and priceless.

ps- as you might have noticed, i got my camera phone to work. expect a lot more random photos!!

The all knowing Yoda!!

yoda
Originally uploaded by angelapants.

This my magic 8-ball Yoda that my mom sent me for Yoda Day. You press his hand and he says things like, "Simple question you ask, yes I answer". I love him. I give him lots of hugs and kisses. He's only about 48 percent accurate though, but he's still cute.

T.G.I.A.N.T.M.D.!!!

That stands for "Thank god it's America's Next Top Model day", but I like that it spells out t giant, m.d. That's hot. So, I went to the laundromat last night and it almost killed me. I hate laundromats with the passion of a thousand fiery suns. aaaaargh. and i bought a copy of maxim at 7/11 to pass the time and it was $5.40! i almost crapped my pants!! i told the cashier it better be the best magazine ever, and so far it hasn't disappointed. i think that working for maxim or adult swim would be the best job ever. man, if i could work for maxim during the day and adult swim at night, i would be the happiest person in the whole entire world. mmmmm...adult swim.
i had something to write about and i'm fairly certain it was informative and thought provoking, but i'm not sure what it was. oh well, i guess i'll just write about jaimie and joe. they are the cutest couple ever. seeing them makes me want a boyfriend, which isn't really something that i want to focus on right now. but, it's cool, they're a great couple and i'm hang around with them. we're going to play guillotine tonight....fabulous! yesterday joe was playing ddr and he was soooo bad at it i just laughed and laughed and laughed. he seemed to think that he had to pound the arrows and the whole apartment was shaking. i'm sure the downstairs neighbors hate us and wish we were dead. i don't care because i hate them too!
ok, i'm off to enjoy an evening of mind-numbing entertainment. oh, don't forget to boycott mark until he watches zoolander!! have a great night!

God bless the IRS.

There are times, occasionally, when I really love this goverment. Right now is one of those times. I did my taxes last night, and the IRS is giving me 600 dollars! I don't really know what I was expecting, but it was certainly no more than 100 dollars, so this is very exciting to me! Hooray for money!!!
Jaimie's boyfriend Joe is here right now and he's fabulous. I really enjoy hanging out with him, I just feel bad that Jaimie is working so much and he's kinda stuck around the house. But, I think we're going karaoking tonight and that's exciting, except it's their 3 year anniversary and I feel kinda weird tagging along. They invited me and everything, and it's not like karaoke is the most romantic thing in the world, but I still feel like I should spend the night at a friend's house and let them have crazy sex all over the apartment, ya know?
So, our laundry room was out of order yesterday and I desperatly need to do laundry today because I think it's been about 3 weeks since I did, so I went to go see if the laundry room is still broken... and I don't know. The sign is still up, but there's this maintence guy around our building and he was coming out of the room as I got there. Let me tell you about this guy. He's cute, in his 20s, doesn't speak a word of english. Every time I see him, he smiles really big and stops whatever he's doing and just stares. I was talking to Jaimie about this, and she said he does the same thing to her. Her theory is that he just sort of hangs around and sleeps with all the women in the apartment. I agree. So, he's leaving and I see the sign on the door and start to walk away, and he says, "Hey, yeah, yeah" and gives me the thumbs up. I don't know if that means the laundry room is functioning again, or that he wanted me to go in there and have sex with him, but either way, I think I'm going to a laundromat.

I am a creature unlike any other... or how I became a ridiculous woman.

I am experiencing so many conflicting emotions right now. I just finished reading The Rules: Time-tested secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right and I don't even know what to do with myself. I am angry, very angry about this book, but also intrigued, saddened, and a little confused. I guess I'll start with anger. There are so many, so very many, angering statements in this book. Let me list a few:
"Do everything you possibly can to put your best face forward. If you have a bad nose, get a nose job."
"If and when things get serious, you can casually tell him about some of your fears. Even then, tell him in an easy, short, simple way. Don't be dramatic about your past. Don't go into long details. Don't be burdensome."
"He declares love first, just as he picks most of the movies, the restaurants and the concerts the two of you go to. He might sometimes ask you for your preference, in which case you can tell him."
"The fact is that your friends and others might not have that burning desire to get married and have babies. You, on the other hand, can't imagine life without a husband."
I feel like just by reading this I am suddenly a husband-hungry-baby-making-machine. I'm not necessarily looking for a husband right this minute, and don't even talk to me about babies. There are just so many things in this book that I am violantly angry about. And there are so many rules, so many things that are just not me at all. For instance, don't ever call him. Ever. And if you do, it can only be to call him back, and only do that on rare occasions. Keep in mind this is a rule until you get that engagement ring. Also, only see him once a week for the first month, twice a week for the second month, and 3-5 times the months after that. Always be light and mysterious. Only start opening up after he says he loves you. If I don't start opening up until after he loves me, then who does he love? He doesn't really know me, right? He just knows some mysterious girl who never calls, You're also not supposed to be funny. I'm sorry, it's impossible for me to not be funny... it's a natural gift! Another thing that bothers me is that one rule is to never live with a man before marriage. I am absolutly living with someone before I marry them, no doubt about it. I need to know if I can live with somebody before I make that kind of commitment, you know? We need to see if our bad habits are compatible with each other.
I guess I am a little intrigued by some thoughts in this book. For instance, it's very true that you will definetly know that a guy is interested in you if he's doing all the pursuing. And, I really do need to stop sleeping with guys on the first or second date. I just don't know if I can follow this book and stay true to myself. I think it's the feminist in me, but I feel downright offended by many of these suggestions. There are valid points, such as not making any man the most important part of your life and having a social life outside of the relationship, and the main objective through all of this is to avoid getting hurt unneccesarily, but I'm still so conflicted. Thank god it only cost 78 cents.

The Netflix Wars

There is a war currently going on in our house. We have had "The Village" and "Amorres Perros" for 3 weeks because Lenka claims she really wants to see them, yet hasn't made an effort to watch them. Jaimie and I have already seen both of them, because we actually did want to see them and watched them when they first came, 3 weeks ago. Lenka did try to watch "the Village" once, 3 days ago, but gave up because the sound on the DVD player keeps going out at random times. Our other DVD playeris also broken, but, we have 2 other players because some redneck that hangs out at Jaimie's work gave them to her. So, I offered to hook up one of the other dvd players, and Lenka's all, "no, that's ok...". So, Jaimie is sooo pissed off right now. It's that time of the month where we give Lenka the 6.50 for Netflix, and Jaimie is going to confront her about it. She's going to tell her to either a) send back the movies immediatly, or b) pay for Netflix for the next month by herself since she seems to want to be the lord and master of it. I understand that Lenka has this new job and she's busy, or whatever, but it pisses me off because it's happened multiple times when she's sent back something that I've wanted to see after having it for only afew days, and then when I ask her about it she'll say, "well, you can put it back on the que if you really want to see it". Well, I think it's time she has a taste of her own medicine. Or, some other cliche that's fitting.

Holla!

So, I'm not going to be on the Jeopardy!Clue Crew, but that's cool. I'm an actor, I'm used to rejection. I did however get to tour the Sony lot and sit in the Wheel of Fortune studio. The wheel is tiny! It's literally the size of a bed! And the big wall where all of the letters come up, which is also like 5 feet tall, is really just a bunch of tv screens! Oh, the magic of wide angle lenses! It's all very amazing to me. So, I have to stay at the Bean for a little while longer, but don't you worry dear friends, I'll be a superstar soon enough!
I'm super excited about karaoke on Thursday! I need to dance! I'm going to wear my I Lovermont t-shirt because it's bright green! No pinching for me, friends! Why are all of my sentences ending in exclamation points? I guess it's late and I'm over excited! I'm getting all fuhklempt. How do you spell fuhklempt? Ah, life's little mysteries.
My friend Davida's coming to visit tomorrow! Hooray! I'm super excited, except that I have to clean my room. That never makes me happy. I don't think I'll ever get married because I don't think that any man will ever be able to live in my mess. It's cool, as long as I get some sex every once in a while I should be alright. Ok kids, I'll write later when I have more to say. Peace out.

Hooray for links!

Thanks Steph, you're a genius! I don't know why Brian jutts in like that, and I couldn't make it less spacey, but I'm just happy they're up and functional! Hooray! So, for everyone up there, you have gained one blogularity point!
So, weird day at work today. All of the guys were hitting on me because of my hair, and it was freaking me out a little. One of the guys said he came in and saw me from behind and was like, "Who is that" in a dirty voice and then he realized it was me and now he wants to have sex with me. He told me this. I don't know, I enojy a little sexual harrassment now and then at work, but my whole shift it was nonstop from all of the guys. I hope the novelty of my straight hair wears off very very soon.
Hey, have you seen that Hershey's commerical where the guy is all "Women are crazy. You add chocolate to that and it's all over. They're all like 'Oh, chocolate, I love it'"? I know I should be really offended by it, but I think it's hilarious. It's off the Dick Cheney, yo!

What a morning

I got up early to go to a hair appointment. I arrived at 8:50 and was immediatly prepped for the procedure, which I took as a good sign because in a black hair care salon you can wait for hours before anyone even starts on you. Well, I was prepped, and then left alone for 45 minutes. No problem, the girl handed me a Vibe Magazine. So, I sat there reading Vibe, which is particulary hilarious if you know me at all. Sure, I'm half black, and I am proud of my roots, black power and all that, but I have to say in some respects that I am not the typical black person. For instance, I believe that was the first time in my entire life that I have ever read a Vibe magazine. Also, I enjoy country music, and think that Napoleon Dynamite is a fabulous dancer. Sure, you can probably find a few other black people who fit into this catagory, but we are far and few between! Anyway, Vibe was actually educational and entertaining. For instance, the rapper N.O.R.E. created the phrase "You off the Dick Cheney!" which means, and I quote, "You on that new shit". I don't really know what either of those phrases means, but I'm using it. So, after my enlightning read, the stylist started putting the chemicals on my hair. She put it on, combed it in, then took me to the room with the sinks. I was so excited, because relaxers burn sooooo bad. So, I'm preparing for the glorious rinse, when she says she'll be back in 10 minutes and then leaves. 10 minutes! My head already felt like Satan was tap dancing on it, and by the time she returned, it was boiling! Not only that, but the water made it sting even more! I thought for sure I was going to have blisters all over my scalp and I wasn't really sure how to explain that to Alex Trebec. Well, she rinses out my hair, then another girl washes it, sets me under a dryer, washes it again, then blow dries it. I've never had that happen before, where someone other than your stylist does a majority of the work. I didn't know what to think. Was I supposed to tip her too? Suddenly, the prospect of having to tip 2 stylists was making me feel ill. Well, I'm all dried and thinking that it can't possibly be much longer, when the stylist takes me back and starts straighting my hair with a straight iron. In my experience, a hair that has just been chemically straightened shouldn't need to be straightened again with a straight iron. But, she did it anyway. There's much more to this story, but I'm getting tired just thinking about it. Basically, she finished at 1:20pm, 4 and a half hours after I came in, and charged me $100, which is $55 dollars more than it ever cost in Arizona. Plus I had to tip 2 people. And my head hurts. But my hair certainly does look fabulous. It's unbelievable that I am not a supermodel, you know, if they had supermodels that were a little chubby and really short.

Blogularity!

Last night was a pretty shitty night, followed by a shitty day. I won't go into specifics because I'm through making this my loveseat of sorrow, but nothing about the last 20 hours has been crescent fresh. But that was all changed when I visited Steph's blog and saw that I, the now offical Super Fabulous Angela, have been made a link. I've decided to call this blogularity, when someone cool links you from their blog. Now, before Mark comes and tells me how I've chosen the completely wrong term here, I'd just like to say that I like it and I'm keeping it. I just feel so blogular. Thanks Steph for making a crappy day seem more peachy!
I can't decide if I'm going karaoking tonight. I feel like I should go just to chipper up a little. Maybe sing a little Ace of Base, maybe a little NKOtB. But, I don't know. I don't really feel like showering or getting dressed or putting on makeup... I guess if Lenka goes and is willing to drive then I'll go. I mean, who am I to deny the public a stirring rendition of "The Sign"?

Random Musings.

Funny tidbit at work today. I asked this woman what her name was, so I could put it on her drink, and she said Stacy, but I could've sworn she said Satan. I stood there, wide-eyed, just staring at her blankly, wondering if this woman really thought she was the dark lord if I'd just misheard her. Then I realized she'd said Stacy and I started laughing uncontrollably. I, of course, had to explain to her why I was laughing like a maniac, and she didn't seem too upset about it. That's good. I think if some random coffee bean employee called me the master of all things evil, I might get a little upset. Of course, Angela sounds nothing like Satan.
This is how pathetic my life is at this moment. Well, not my whole life. For the most part, things are looking up. I'm like Mary Tyler Moore throwing her hat up in the busy Manhattan streets. You know how it is. I guess this really just reflects more upon how pathetic my love life is. I was sitting here reading Brian's newest entry, which is fantastic, by the way, and I noticed I had coffee grounds stuck in my cuticles. I was looking for a nail file, or something with an edge to clean it with, and I saw a condom sitting on my nightstand. So, I removed the coffee grounds, admiring my good work, when I realized how sad it is when you are using condoms to clean your nails.
I recently quit drinking. It's by no means a permanent thing, I'm just giving it up for awhile. I decided on this after going to work completly hungover 8 days ago. I had to will myself not to throwup in the bathroom. And I thought to myself, "Super Fabulous Angela (that's what I call myself in my head) why do you do this to yourself? It's not fun. Nothing was made more eventful by downing that six pack of beer, 2 glasses of wine, and a few shots of rum with Dave-Mike last night." And I was right. So I quit. It's going pretty well so far, but it was really weird to sit around the house Friday night without a glass of wine in my hand. Don't even get me started on karaoke without alchohol! I ended up paying 36 dollars for a diet coke. Bah. I did however learn that my exhibitionism is natural and not just brought on by jack and cokes. Jessica and I flashed the bartender, which did bring the bill down to 36 bucks instead of 80. Thank god for breasts. ( o ) ( o )

Bah to money.

I say this only because I have none. Tonight was supposed to be a date night with Lenka. We were going to go get Thai food and watch Hitch, but my lack of funding has postponed the outing. Thankfully, tomorrow is tip day, so assuming nobody stole a bag (again), I should be rolling in the money tomorrow. On to more pleasant things!
Celebrities I helped today included Ryan Stiles (my lord and master), Alec Baldwin, and Ashton Kutcher. Ashton looked hottt today! I don't find him attractive on tv, but, damn... break me off a piece of that, and give me a side of fries with it! I need to get laid. A boyfriend would be ideal, but I'll take what I can get. Unfortunatly, my soul mate lives far far away and already has a girlfriend. Don't you hate it when that happens? And then you're elaborate plan to convince his girlfriend that she has SARS so she will have to be quarantined for a few months so he can move out here and fall in love with you falls through when a) you realize that you have no idea how to convince someone that they have SARS, and b) even if you did have a plan for said SARSing, you would have no way to implement it since said soul mate's girlfriend is thousands of miles away. Oh, it's all very frusterating. I think that might have been the longest sentence that I've ever written in the history of my life.
9 days to Jeopardy! auditions. I included the exclamation point because they have included it in every email they've sent me. I think it's a very important factor to the success of the show. It makes it more exciting, I suppose. Like, did you ever hear about the time that South Dakota wanted to change their name to Dakota! because they felt that South had negative connatations, and the exclamation point would bring in more tourists? Oh, those crazy Dakotans!. Is that what a person from Dakota! would be called? A Dakotan!? Or would it be a Dakotian!? Dakotaer!? Any way you say, I like it. I think that all of the states should adopt the same attitude. From now on, I live in California!. I think some states would have to have different punctuation marks, like Alabama?, New York., and Iowa$. I realize that the dollar sign isn't a punctuation mark, but I think it's funny with Iowa. These are the things I think about. No wonder my soul mate lives far far away and has another girlfriend.

Anchorman vs Dodgeball: The Definitive Argument

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. After having to read Mark and Brian go on and on about the wonders of Anchorman and how it is the greatest thing since Jesus, and having to defend my belief that Dodgeball is better, I've decided to just put it all out there. Let's see how they fair in good ol' list fashion!

1. Watchability
I have seen Anchorman once, while visiting family in Baltimore. I had to watch it there because Jaimie wouldn't let us put it on the cue because she said it made her want to die. She saw it in theatres.

I watched Dodgeball 3 times in a 48 hour period, and each time was funnier than the last. I would have watched it again, but Lenka sent it back.

Advantage: Dodgeball

2. Sexy Stars
While Will Ferrell is hilarious, there is no way I'd get near his penis, not even with a ten foot pole. Christina Applegate, while steamily hot, does not even make up for Will Ferrell's lack of sexiness.

Vince Vaughn is hotter than hot in Dodgeball. It makes me wish I was toast and he was jelly. And who can argue the hotness of Christine Taylor? Not I, my friend, not I.

Advantage: Dodgeball

3. DVD Extras
I didn't get to see the entire extra movie that I've heard so much about, but I'm sure that it's hilarious. My hat's off to you Anchorman.

While Anchorman clearly wins in this segment, I do have to say that I rather enjoyed the segment about that kid getting hit all the time. And, if you just left it on the extras menu, you could watch him get hit with balls and wrenches over and over.

Advantage: Anchorman

4. Hilarity
Anchorman had about 2 downright hilarious parts. That's it. I laughed out loud maybe twice. I think I laughed more during Elf...

Don't even get me started on the hilarity of Dodgeball. I laughed, I cried, I laughed some more.

Advantage: Dodgeball

5. Cameos
Damn you, Anchorman, with your hilarious cameos.

Advantage: Anchorman

Conclusion: Dodgeball wins! It is a far superior movie and should be cherished for all time! Hooray for Dodgeball!!

And now I'll use the Jack factor to show you how Harold and Kumar is far superior to both movies!

How much I would have to be paid to never see these movies again:

Anchorman: $4.50
Cost of a Subway lunch whose yumminess would make me forget the movie ever exsisted.

Dodgeball: $2 Million
Cost of an entire DVD collection to help fill the void that would be missing, plus consolation money for never being able to say, "Joanie love Chachi!"

Harold and Kumar: $500 Billion
Millions of dollars for hypnotherapy to try and make me forget the movie ever exsisted, a few million to convince Neil Patrick Harris to drive by in a car while snorting coke off a stripper's ass, tasty sandwiches from White Castle so I could live the dream one last time, a few hundred million to find a tame cheetah to rent and subsquently ride, a billion dollars to bribe the person who says I can never see the movie again, fucker.

Catastrophe!!!

Somehow, the OC was erased from the dvr before I saw it! I don't know how this could have happened! It was scheduled to record yesterday, it always is, and it's supposed to be saved until manually erased. The only answer is that my roomate erased it, but why would she do that? Why, why, why? Oh, what am I to do? I am out of the OC loop, I have no idea what's happening, and I didn't get to stare at Adam Brody for an hour this week. Life is so unfair!

ps- on a completly unrelated note, i think i'm changing my comments to the way steph and mark have it. i like not having to scroll to read the newest comment. the only time doing it that way is really a problem is if you haven't been keeping track of the comments from the beginning and there are like 17 million of them and you have to scroll anyway. the end.

A question of ethics... or how I learned to fear the dong.

Ok, friends, here's my life. A little while ago I did something really cute at work. This guy came in and ordered coffee and I asked him if he wanted a pink card. He said no, and I said, "you never get a pink card!" and he said he just loses them and they're pointless anyway because you can't even fit a phone number on them. I told him he was wrong, and wrote my number on one and gave it to him, just to prove him wrong. Well, he never called and I was sad, but then yesterday I found out that he's married, so it's probably a good thing he never called. He wasn't wearing a ring though, so it's not like I was blatantly hitting on a married man. Anyway, the point of this story is, always assume they're married.
In other news, I helped Ashton Kutcher yesterday. We started talking and he compared himself to the Fonz, so when I called out his drink I said, "I've got a mocha ice blended for the Fonz, the Fonz, anyone?" and he laughed and smiled at me. I think it's love.
Later yesterday, this guy Mick comes in. Now, this kid is the most beautiful guy that I have ever seen in my life. I first saw him a few months ago, and have been smitten ever since. We were talking last night, flirting a little, and I discover that he's only 18... and still in high school! Life is so unfair! So, this is my question... is it wrong to actively pursue someone who is still in high school? he is 18.... which makes it legal... not necessarily right, but legal. Normally I would just forget about it, but he really is drop dead gorgeous. i think brian will have the best answer for this question because he works with these kids all day long. oh, thanks for the wake up call, ps. Brian calls this afternoon and says, "hey, do you wanna go on speaker phone and be a guest lecturer for my advanced drama class?" So I did. I talked about Ashton and John Tesh (sort of) and really wasn't very educational or tactful... but I had just been ripped out of a beautiful fantasy of hosting Conan O'Brien's show while he was sick.It was a fabulous episode... Emmy award nominated even! Ok, I'm going to go enjoy my day off! peace!