I hate Extra.

In fact, I hate all of pop culture. However, I am strangely addicted to it. Extra is on tv right now, and while all of me is screaming that I don't care that paris and nick got in a cab together last night, I can do nothing to change the channel. I want to, I just would love to not have crap on the tv, but i can't change it. also, i have to read anything about mary-kate olsen or the breakup of kirsten dunst and jake gyllenhaal. it's all just gossip and speculation, but i have to read it. on another note, i left "the missing" out of my list last time. that was surprisingly good. it was like "the searchers" but good, and slightly less racist (only slightly). at least john wayne wasn't in it. let me tell you about the worst class i ever took. the title was "film and literature", which sounds great, right? i'd heard great things about, like that it covered all of the classics. well, it turned out that whatever professor was teaching the class got to pick the genre they taught, and my professor decided that westerns were the way to go! it was so horrible! we started with an hour long silent western! i swore every tuesday and thursday that i was going to end my life. well, i made it through, but i've seen enough bad westerns to last a lifetime, most of them involving john wayne. argh. anyway, that was my western tangent. holy moly, i had the scariest dream this morning. i dreamt that i had a baby!!!! what would i do with a baby???? i really hope that it wasn't a preminition.... ok, i think that's it for the day. ttfn!

My Life, The Movie!

Yesterday Derek and I were discussing whether or not President Bush has seen "Faranheit 9/11" and Derek said "Everyone would go and see a movie about themselves" meaning to verify facts or what have you, but for some reason, I heard "Sooner or later everyone has a movie made about them and of course they'll go see it". I don't know why I heard that, but it got me thinking, what if everyone's life was eventually made into a movie? I think that would be pretty fantastic! The world would be a much more humane place, because you'd know where everyone was coming from. Speaking of movies, I have seen way too many recently. One might think that 5 free rentals a wekk is a good thing, but my life has become nothing but movie watching. In the last 2 weeks I have seen "Bourne Identity", "Win a Date With Tad Hamilton", "City of God", "Mystic River", "Summer of Sam", "Bubba Ho Tep", "Secret Window", "The Whole Ten Yards", "Spartan", and "Eurotrip". I would not recommend "Mystic River", "Summer of Sam", or "Secret Window", and I'm a bit iffy about "Spartan". However, "City of God" is one of the most beautiful movies ever, and "The Whole Ten Yards" and "Eurotrip" were good for mindless laughs. Oh, speaking of mindless, "Hellboy" came out today and I swear, people were tripping over each other to get it. It was ridiculous how starved the masses were for "Hellboy". It's like they were counting down the very seconds untill it came out. I just don't get it...Well, I shall go now. A goodnight to all!

I am a movie pass god

So life at Blockbuster is pretty great. Even though I work 8 hour days without breaks most of the time, the job is just so easy and the people are so funny that it is entirely worth it. It is sooooo much better than waiting tables. When I think about how long I waited tables at that crappy restaurant 40 minutes away it makes me sick to my stomach! So, yeah, I am the movie pass champion at my store for the week. I feel proud, yet oddly coniving like I'm some sort of sales weasel.
Derek's friend Anthony is visiting from L.A. and he's really cool. He teaches middle school in south central which is really hardcore! he told us the funniest yo mama joke that i think i've ever heard. it goes like this "i'll tell you something. you're mama's waist is not a number 4". i think it was something about the delivery that made it so funny, or that fact that derek and anthony would giggle uncontrollably like little girls whenever one of them said it. anyway, it's my new motto in life.
i have the day off tomorrow and i need to get my windshield fixed. a rock hit it while i was driving home from sierra vista last week and now there's an arm sized crack in it. i'm really pissed off about it because my insurance doesn't cover it and it's money that i have to spend on something that's not my fault. if it had been something i had done that had led to the windshield cracking, then i would be ok with the whole thing. but the fact that this just randomly happened without me doing anything stupid or menacing is just maddening. i think that's all for right now. no, wait...
so, the other night i had a dream that i married my best friend's husband and she wasn't mad at all. then, after a month, i realized that it just couldn't possibly work between us because he was also married to my best friend and i got all upset and was complaining to my best friend about having to get a divorce. it was really bizarre and i want to know what it means. ok, yeah, that's all.

Pretty Pretty Boyfriend

Tonight I was coloring Derek's hair with a highlighter and then I started doing his eyebrows. Then, without warning, he says "Do you have any makeup?" And before I know it, I have the hottest drag queen boyfriend!! It was sooo much fun to put on eye shadow and mascara and blush and two shades of lip color. I'm going to add some pictures!

Here he is all dolled up! Unfortunately, you cannot see his blue and pink eyebrows in this picture or the hot pink blush!

PrettyDerek Originally uploaded by angelapants.

This is my beautiful boyfriend putting on my mascara!

PrettyDerek2 Originally uploaded by angelapants.

Mrs. Gyllenhaal

Jake Gyllenhaal is single!!!! He lives in Hollywood, which is coincidentally where I am moving in two months!! Alright, calm down reality with your "3 million people live in Hollywood" and "Jake Gyllenhall doesn't know you exsist" and "You have a boyfriend already"... That's all just blah blah blah to me! Jake and I will meet and get married and Derek will be there too. I'll just have two beautiful husbands... maybe we'll be mormon or something... Anyway, life in Tucson is ok. I am going crazy during my days off. Too much lying around and doing nothing can be a bad thing. Yesterday I went to Derek's office and hung around pretending to work. It was pretty nice, but today he had to leave his office early so I've just been lying around the house watching bad tv. Have you ever noticed just how bad daytime tv is? I think I hate the commercials the most. It pisses me off thinking that someone is getting paid actual money to put this crap on tv! In the past three days of watching way too much daytime tv, I have probably seen 3 decent commercials, and by decent I mean they don't make me want to throw up and die. I should be the person getting paid to make up stupid commercials. They'd have to be better than the shit that's on there now!! Argh. I know I should be enjoying this free time because I'll never have it in L.A., what with being Mrs. Gyllenhaal and all... Maybe I could get him to change his last name, because Angela Gyllenhall doesn't sound so cool. Jake Daniels, on the other hand, is pretty hot. Mmmm, Jake Daniels. Ok, I'm off to battle over the tv with my recently arrived roomate because Ellen is on in 10 minutes!!!!

Alas

So, I was reminiscing through my old online journal and reading other friends blogs , and I started getting incredibly sad and nostalgic. I tried to update said old online journal, however, I have long since forgotten the password... alas. Well, here starts a new era of online soul searching. I am going to be completly honest this time, because I am not doing this for other people to read and to judge me. That was the problem with diaryland, I always knew that my friends were reading it, so I tried to make my life seem cooler than it actually was or purposely omit key things because I was embarrassed/ashamed. But this, this will be the real me. So, who am I? I am a 22 year old recent college graduate who is moving to L.A. in one month to pursue her lifelong dream of acting which she is not so sure is her dream anymore. That's the first time I've commited that thought to writing, that I might not want to act anymore. Here's the thing: I've been acting since I was 10 and I was absolutely passionate about it. But now, I don't get that same thrill after a show. I love to act, but I'm not feeling it like I used to, it's not my life. Also, I've recently started doing films and have discovered I am quite bad at it. It appears that stage acting and film acting are two entirely different things and now the girl that is so self assured in her acting talents is suddenly scared. What if I really am bad? But that's not why I am unsure of if acting is for me, it's more than fear. I'm just so confused as to what I am passionate about nowadays. And if it's not theatre, why the hell do I have a degree in Theatre Arts? What can I do if it's not acting? So, I'm battling these feelings and trying to lose the 20 pounds that I've gained this year that I attribute to finding the love of my life. His name is Derek. I live in his house, but I'm leaving him next month. We're staying together and I'm hoping that eventually he will move out there to be with me. I'm afraid that I'm ruining our relationship by moving away, but I'm even more afraid of staying. If I stayed, I would never follow the "what if" that lies in L.A. Yeah, more than likely I will come back a broken women and get a job in corporate America where I will slave away for the rest of my days, but at least I tried. I can't try in Tucson. Blah, Tucson. I am tired of the desert. In the past month, 2 of my roomates have been stung by scorpions in their bedrooms. That is a statistic of 50 percent of one household being stung by scorpions within one month. That is not a reassuring statistic. I am not happy about it at all. Well, that is enough rambling for now. I feel better.