It's list time!!

Things I hate:
1. When you post on someone's blog and they continue posting to someone else or go off on a tangent and it's like you don't even exsist. I just ask for acknowledgement, people.

2. When Lenka hogs the tv for hours on Saturday AND Sunday to watch Nascar, or as I call it, Hillbilly TV.

3. Everyone in Studio City.

4. When you give a guy your number and he never ever calls.

5. Basil. that's right, I hate basil.

6. When unknown numbers call your cell and don't leave messages.

Things I love:
1. Steph's logo for the Church of the OC. God, it's glorious!

2. Michelob Ultra.

3. Crazy friends that leave 4 minute long messages on your phone at ungodly hours in the morning.

4. A sister that says things like, "don't be a stranger". Of course I can't be a stranger, I'm your freaking sister.

5. Watching Harold and Kumar when I'm feeling blue... or the Gilmore Girls.

6. You, dear reader, you.

I hate hillbillies

I am banished to my room because Lenka has decided to dedicated all weekends from now until November to Nascar. It's fucking ridiculous!!! I can't believe that I have to hideout in my room so she can watch stupid guys drive around in circles for 4 hours. What the hell is wrong with her? Hopefully it will be over soon, or else my friendship with her will be. Jaimie and I have decided that she's out. Once the lease is up, we're getting a place without her. I know it sounds mean, but you don't live with her. It's not just the nascar, it's also the obsessive cleaning and the momminess about her. If I wanted someone to voice opinions about my life I would hire a therapist! Maybe I'll meet Adam Brody before September and we'll fall madly in love and move in together. Jaimie can live with us, but not Lenka. This is an actual conversation that Jaimie and I had last night.
Jaimie: We should have a therapist living with us. We're fucking nuts.
Me: Yeah, like Alan Thicke on Growing Pains.
Jaimie: Exactly!
Only we would think that Alan Thicke living with us is a perfect idea. Well, I'm off to eat pizza. I hope that you're not watching nascar!!

A note to April:

Stay away from my husband Zach Braff!! I'll beat you down if I have to!!!!! Anyway, I couldn't post on your blog because the comments were down, but that is really all I have to say. We should hang out this weekend. Give me a call!

i hate my life.

i don't want to be alone for the rest of my life. i hate valentine's day. it's just a day invited by hallmark to make single people feel more miserable. derek proposed to his girlfriend tonight. i hate him. i don't feel like i'll ever find love again.

i fucking hate men.

and happy valentine's day to you! in other news, I like to sing opera while i poop. it's fun, you should try it. so, lenka and i were watching a biography on brittany spears, and i love her little sister jaime lynn. i decided that i want her to be my best friend, but since i don't know her and i probably never will, i've just decided to call my exisiting best friend, lenka, jaime lynn. it's working pretty well so far. god i fucking hate men. i don't think i will ever be in a functional relationship ever again. on a brighter note, jaimie and i played guillotine tonight and i won both times! hooray for me! well, that's about it for now. i do have other stories about the gym and my ba donka donk donk, but i'll save them for later days! peace!

Are you drinking 2 percent because you think you're fat?

Because you're not. You could probably drink whole milk if you wanted to. Anyway, today is a glorious day! It started last night at 1 in the morning. Josh called me and asked what I was doing. I said sleeping. He said I shouldn't have answered the phone, but I wanted to talk to him so I did. Then I asked him if he wanted to come over, and he said yes. So, I frantically cleaned my room, the bathroom, and then took a shower. It was crazy. So, he came over and I really like him. I don't know what to do about the whole situation, because we kind of talked about relationships last night and he said he's focusing on his career now and isn't really looking for a girlfriend. i guess I understand that, but really, when have relationships ever come around at convinient times? i guess we'll see what happens there. he left at 5 this morning to go to work and I went back to sleep. then i woke up and gave my neighbors their valentines. that was fun. dave-mike really liked his! then lenka and i watched the notebook, which is absolutely beautiful, and we ate pizza. hooray! then i checked my email and found out that out of thousands of applicants, i have been invited to audition for the jeopardy clue crew!! then i called my mom to tell her and she told me she got promoted today. what a magical day. i should probably go buy a lottery ticket, but that would involve leaving the house and i don't think that's going to happen today. well, i'm off to hang out in stars hollow for an hour, i hope your day is as amazing as mine!

Damn you Rory's dad!

Not only did David Sutcliffe potientally steal my phone, he ruined Lorelai and Luke's relationship! Did you catch Gilmore Girls last night? Holy crap!! Damn that David Sutcliffe!!! On to better news, there is not a Gilmore Girls calendar available for purchase, but at abcfamily.com you can download months for free and print them out! My life is perfect!! As for the phone situation, they are sending me a new one and it should get here today or tomorrow. Hopefully today because living without a phone is very very hard! The worst thing about getting a new phone is that cell phones have completly ruined my ability to memorize numbers, so I have no access to my closest friends. Prepare for a mass email demanding phone numbers, that should be fun! Harold and Kumar should get here any day now, and on that day, my life will be complete. I haven't talked to Josh, the whole no phone thing, but hopefully he will be my valentine's date. Yoda says no, but he is a backwards yoda, so I think that means yes. We'll see. Right now we have Napoleon Dynamite, or as we call it, Nap D, and it is amazing. The features are soooo funny! Well, I will leave you now with a "Goooosh", and a "Girls want guys with skills, like sweet numchucks skills". Ain't that the truth?

What a weekend.

My life is crazy. It started Saturday night around 1. Josh called and invited me out. I was sleeping, and a normal person would have said, "No, thank you, I have to work at 7", but not me. I went out, and we talked and did other things all night and I ended up getting 10 minutes of sleep. i've come to realize that no sleep is better than 10 minutes. So, then I went to work, expecting it to be dead because it was super bowl sunday, but apparantly, coffee is the new beer. we were so busy all day long and shorthanded, so I had to stay an extra hour. I went to Baja Fresh after work, and saw David Sutcliffe, Rory's dad on Gilmore Girls. Somewhere amidst all of the oogling and wonder, I lost my cell phone. i'd like to blame it on my lack of sleep, but I really do think it was because of David Sutcliffe. So, I got up early today to go to the Sprint store, but they don't handle lost phones. you have to call a number. granted, most people probably do have home lines or access to another phone, but not me, so having to call someone to replace my phone is not the best option. I'm on my way to work now to try and use that phone. Or, maybe David Sutcliffe found my phone and he'll come in and give it to me. I think that would be the best solution!

News Flash!!

I just purchased Harold and Kumar on amazon! It will be here in 4-6 business days and my life will be complete!!!!!

Eternal sunshine.

I wish I really could erase my memory of Derek. He's buying a house with his new girlfriend. I can't even go on a date with anybody, yet he's buying a house with someone. Relationships are a fucking joke. You get so close to someone and believe that they're telling you the truth, and then they crap all over you. And they don't even care. You are covered in their crap and they're laughing about it with someone else. I wish I could do something to hurt him, badly. I've got nothing though. My plan is to someday be really hot and successful and on the cover of every magazine so he'll have to see me and realize what an asshole he was. I hope that works out. If not, I'm going to have to invent a machine that allows you to erase certain memories. That seems like a lot of science, and math, both of which I'm not too keen on. Damn you fate, you dirty temptress!!!

I don't really have anything to say.

Just that my mom is the cutest woman in the whole entire world. She called me today just to tell me that Yoda said I was going to have a valentine. Then she was like, "who are you dating, ehhh?" It was so cute! Well, I hope Yoda is right. However, as valentine's is only 10 days away, the odds of me having a date are slim to none. Hooray. It's cool, I'll just get drunk with Jaimie and curse all men for the rest of time. Hooray! I wish I owned Harold and Kumar. Maybe if I do get a valentine, he'll get me Harold and Kumar instead of roses. That would be a great man.

i'm never get married.

it's not by choice, i'm just going to be alone for the rest of all time. sure, i'll hook up with random guys every now and then, but i'll never have a boyfriend ever again. by the time i die i'll have slept with 50 guys, maybe more. all of them with no attachments. i fucking hate ashlee simpson. what the hell is a la la? how can you make someone want to la la? bitch. i don't know why ryan cabrera was ever with him. that is one beautiful man. maybe i'll sleep with him someday, but not marry him. i think i'm going to get really drunk on valentine's day. i'll have to give my phone to a friend though because that could be very dangerous. i did have a lovely night tonight, though. i talked to bri bear for a little while, then i drank beer and watched 3 episodes of the gilmore girls, followed by scrubs. i can't think of anything that could have been better. then i went over to dave-mike's and drank a girlie drink, then watched mash. they all have a strange addiction to mash at that house. i think it's always on when i go over there, that and futurama. well, that's my life. maybe more will happen later that i can write about and entertain the masses. until then, you make me wanna la la.